Wee Sing Universe
by Athena121
Summary: Kid Songs from around the Universe. Inspired by Eilidh17's Little Danny Stories, k8ec's Bedtime Tales, and Danae Dixon's Stargate Alphabet Book, and of course, the people at Wee Sing!
1. One Little, Two Little, Three Little

One little, two little, three little prim'ta -- Jaffa

One little, two little, three little prim'ta.

Four little, five little, six little prim'ta.

Seven little, eight little, nine little prim'ta.

Ten little gods implanted.

A/N: I've set the status as complete, but I suspect there will be more. If anyone has a suggestion for race/song please let me know! For those of you following my "Taking a Break" story I should have chapter four up tomorrow.


	2. Hello Operator

Hello Operator – Earth

Hello Operator, give me SG 1.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! Jack's got a big space gun!

Hello Operator, give me SG 2.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! Ferretti has the flu.

Hello Operator, give me SG 3.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! Them marines have gotta pee!

Hello Operator, give me SG 4.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! They're headed to the gate..er...door.

Hello Operator, give me SG 5.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! I'm not sure they're alive...

Hello Operator, give me SG 6.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! They're watching _Wormhole X-Treme_ on Netflix.

Hello Operator, give me SG 7.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! They're on a mission with SG 11.

Hello Operator, give me SG 8.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! They're still not back through the gate. (That team is always late; it must be something they ate!)

Hello Operator, give me number 9.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! They're reprograming a mine!

Hello Operator, give me SG 10.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! I think...hello? Not again!

Hello my dear reader, give me a review.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! You know just what to do!


	3. I'm a Little Tok'ra

I'm a Little Tok'ra – Vorash Tok'ra Base

I'm a little Tok'ra,

Better than most.

Here is my symbiote,

Here is my host.

When I get all steamed up,

You'll hear me shout:

"SG 1, we're kicking you out."


	4. Twinkle, Twinkle

Twinkle, Twinkle – Earth (Submitted by little Grace Carter-O'Neill)

-

Twinkle, Twinkle great big star, how I wonder where you are

Up above the world so high

Until Sam blew you out of the sky.

Twinkle, Twinkle great big star, how I wonder where you are.

-

When the gleaming gate is dialed

To P3W-451

The black hole will suck you up

The forces of fusion and gravity disrupt,

Then you'll be a supernova,

Sending the fleet light years away!

-

In the dark blue sky so deep,

Though Gracie's curtains you still peep

And her mommy smiles with glee,

When she tells little Gracie that story.

Twinkle, Twinkle great big star, how I wonder where you are.

-

A/N: Here you go ~00~! This is a classic SG1 song and I hope I did it justice! I've set the status as complete, but I suspect there will be more coming. If anyone has a suggestion for race/song please let me know! For those of you following my "Taking a Break" story I should have chapter four up tomorrow. It's been ready for awhile, but the computer got a virus and I haven't finished getting the backup off the hardrive, as soon as I do, it'll be up.


	5. Itsy Bitsy Replicator

The Itsy Bitsy Replicator – Reese (Mother of the Replicators)

The Itsy Bitsy Replicator climbed up the Al'Kesh hull.

Then SG1 came and knocked him off the wall.

My little pet rejuvenated and SG1 ran off.

And the Itsy Bitsy Replicator assimilates again.

A/N: Next up: Old McDonald Had a Ha'Tak.


	6. Spin, Spin, Spin

Spin, Spin, Spin the Gate – Submitted by Walter and Urgo (with the help of Col. Jack O'Neill)

Spin, spin, spin the gate,

Steady as she goes!

Chevron 5, Chevron 6,

Chevron 7 encoded!

A/N: McDonald and crew ARE coming, they're just a little lost in transition at the moment. (Read: "I KNOW I put that notebook SOMEWHERE!")


	7. Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak

Old McDonald Had a Ha'Tak—P3M-MGOOD (Isn't it obvious that we have a Goa'uld empire here on Earth under the cover of the Golden Arches?)

Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak,

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

And on his Ha'Tak he had some Jaffa.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

With a Kree! Kree! here and a Kree! Kree! there

Here a Kree! there a Kree! Everywhere a Kree! Kree!

Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak,

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

And on his Ha'Tak he had a hand device.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

With a WHZzzzZZzzz here and a WHZzzzZZzzz there

Here a Whzzz there a Whzzz Everywhere a WHZzzzZZzzz!

Old MacDonald had a Ha'Tak.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak,

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

And on his Ha'Tak he had a zat'ni'katel.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

With one stun here and two kills there

Here a stun there a kill Everywhere a zat gun!

Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak,

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

And on his Ha'Tak he caught Teal'c.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

With a Sholva! here and a Sholva! there

Here a Sholva! there a Sholva! Everywhere a Sholva!

Old MacDonald had a Ha'Tak.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

Old McDonald had a Ha'Tak,

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

And on his Ha'Tak came SG1.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

With some C4 here and some C4 there

Here some C4; there some C4. Everywhere C4!

Old McDonald had a problem.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

Old McDonald _had_ a Ha'Tak,

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

And on his Ha'Tak he had a problem.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.

With a Boom! Boom! here and a Boom! Boom! there

Here a Boom! there a Boom! Everywhere a Boom! Boom!

Old MacDonald _had_ a Ha'Tak.

Ie Ey Ie Ey O.


	8. Oh Where is my Shol'va!

A/N: So, here wee go again. If anyone knows anything about formatting documents here, I'd love to know how to get things from looking double spaced. No, I don't own Veggie Tales either, but, I'm eating salad right now, so, I don't think Bob or Larry would be happy with me.

OH WHERE is my SHOL'VA! – by Apophis and Larry the Cucumber (a sarcophagus error I'm sure…)

Athena: "Now it's time for silly songs with Athena, the part of the story where Apophis realizes Teal'c has escaped and joins in the insanity that is _Wee Sing_. Our curtain opens as Apophis, having just finished his morning sarcophagus, is continuing his search for his Shol'va. Having no success he, cries out..."

Apophis: "Oh, where is my shol'va? Oh where is my shol'va? Oh, where,  
oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh,  
where oh, where ... is my shol'va?"

Athena: "Having heard his cry, Shackel enters the scene. Shocked and  
slightly embarrassed at the sight of his god in a towel, Shackel regains his  
composure and reports ..."

Shackel: "I think I saw the shol'va back there!"

Apophis: "Death to my shol'va. Back Death to my shol'va. Back  
there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where, back  
there, back there, back there ...you saw the shol'va!"

Athena: "Having heard his ominous proclamation, Master Bratac enters  
the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of his false god in a  
towel, Bratac regains his composure and comments ..."

Bratac: "Why do you need Teal'c? You already have a first prime!"

Narrator: "Apophis is taken aback. The thought had never occurred to him.  
No need? What did this mean? Of course he had a need! Teal'c must die! Apophis wonders ..."

Apophis: "No need for my shol'va. No! Death for my hairbrush. No need, No!  
death, oh where, back there, oh where, back there, oh where, back there? Oh death! .. for my shol'va!"

Athena: "Having heard his wonderings, Oma the Accended enters the scene.  
Shocked and slightly annoyed she had to sort this out, Oma regains her composure and confesses ..."

Oma: "Apophis, that old shol'va of yours ... Well, I never should have Ascended Anubis, you see. So, well, I'm sorry ... I didn't know. But I gave  
him to the Tau'ri - 'cause its fair!"

Athena: "Feeling a deep sense of anger, Apophis stumbles back and yells..."

Larry: "It's fair for my fair for my shol'va? Not fair! My traitorous shol'va! Not  
fair, not fair, oh death, his death, is fair, oh where, back there, not fair, not fair, not fair! My traitorous shol'va!"

Athena: "Having heard his rage, the Shol'va enters the scene. Himself  
in a towel, both Apophis and Teal'c are shocked and slightly  
embarrassed at the sight of...each other. But recognizing Thor's  
mistake, Teal'c is thankful ..."

Teal'c: "I will see to it that you die."

Narrator: "Yes, good has been done here. Teal'c beams off the scene.  
Apophis frowns, but, still feeling a sense of pleasure that he is invincible, he calls out ..."

Apophis: "No hair for my shol'va! No hair for my shol'va. No hair, no hair, don't dare come back here, no fair, oh his death, is fair, no hair, no hair ... for my shol'va!"

Athena: "The end!"


	9. Dixie SG3 Style

**Dixie SG3 Style – SG 3 Earth**

**Oh, I wish I was at the Stargate, ****  
****Old times there we'll relate, **

**Look away, look away, look away SGC!****  
**

**At the SGC, where I was stationed,  
****early there one fateful mornin',****  
****Look away, look away, look away SGC!******

**I wish I weren't a'traveling, Hooray! Hooray!****  
****At the SGC I'll take my stand****  
****to live and die for Victory.****  
****Away, away, away down, down in Cheyenne.****  
****Away, away, away down, down in Cheyenne. ****  
**

**Oh, back there on that horrid day,****  
Hathor, she'd not stay away!  
****Look away, look away, look away, SGC!******

**And when she seduced General Hammond,**

**His bright smile was a'damned.****  
****Look away, look away, look away SGC!****  
**

**I wish I weren't a'traveling, Hooray! Hooray!****  
****At the SGC I'll take my stand****  
****to live and die for Victory.****  
****Away, away, away down, down in Cheyenne.****  
****Away, away, away down, down in Cheyenne. ******

**His bright head was as shiny a butcher's cleaver****  
****But that did not seem to grieve 'er****  
****Look away, look away, look away, SGC!******

**Ole Hathor acted the foolish part****  
****And we near died- broken heart****  
****Look away, look away, look away SGC!**

**I wish I weren't a'traveling, Hooray! Hooray!****  
****At the SGC I'll take my stand****  
****to live and die for Victory.****  
****Away, away, away down, down in Cheyenne.****  
****Away, away, away down, down in Cheyenne. ****  
**

**Now here's a health to Doc and Sam,****  
****An' all the gals that want to kiss us;****  
****Look away, look away, look away**** SGC!**

**But if you want to drive 'way Hathor,****  
****We'll come shove 'er out the door, ****  
****Look away, look away, look away SGC!**


	10. I've Been Workin' on 'Gate Diagnostics

I've Been Working on Diagnostics - Walter, SGC, Earth

I've been workin' on 'gate diagnostics, all the live long day.

I've been workin' on 'gate diagnostics just to past the time away.

When there's a team a goin'

Through the gate so blue,

Oh, I cannot wait to shout it, Chevron 1 encoded!

Chevron 2 encoded, Chevron 3 encoded, Chevron 4 enco-o-ded!

Chevron 5 encoded, Chevron 6 encoded, Chevron 7 locked!

Someone's in the lab with Carter,

Someone's in her lab, I kno-o-o-ow,

Someone's in the lab with Car-ter, playin' with his new yo-yo:

And singin': Fe Fi Fiddly I O. Fe Fi Fiddly I O-O-O-O!

Fe Fi Fiddly I O! Playin' with his new yo-yo.

A/N: Ok folks, I'm a little low on ideas. If anyone has a tune or race, I'd be interested in the suggestions. That or we're all going to wait until Christmas for the next installment when I go Christmas Music crazy. :P For those interested, Come Lady Death's fic "Stargte Silly Songs" has a bunch of VeggieTales "Silly Songs with Larry" made over for stargate. "Everybody's got a Jaffa on their team/They are big and kelno'reem..." La la le lala la le la...lalalaLA!


	11. John and Jacob Who's Jinglehiemer

We know John and Jacob...Who's Jinglehiemer? –SG-10

SG-10 was stuck on P3X-429. Major McDouglas had inadvertently shot the DHD with a staff weapon. In his defense, there was a Jaffa attempting to dial out, who had the utter stupidity to move, just as McDouglas fired. The rest of the team quickly disposed of the remaining Jaffa and now they were waiting for the SGC to check in and send a naquadah generator. Unfortunately, check in was still five hours away. Oh, the junior officers were going to make him pay! The area around the 'gate was secure geand it was highly unlikely they would run into more Jaffa.

For Lts. Morris and Watson it was their second trip through the 'gate. Captain Dannells, however, was a seasoned pro, and had known Matthew McDouglas for years. He motioned the other two over, "Lieutenants! You want to make him pay?"

"Yes sir!"

"Then let's start up a sing-a-long. There is nothing Matt hates more than a good old-fashioned songfest."

And so they sang. Major McDouglas had tried ordering them to stop, but due to General O'Neill's "Team Building General Order" they were under no obligation to cease their "team building exercise" unless the commanding officer had legitimate reasons to call it off. "They're driving me crazy!" was not a legitimate reason, apparently. So they sang: "This is the song that never ends", "I've been working on 'gate diagnostics", and finally, "John Jacob Jinglehiemer Schmitt."

"You know," Lt. Watson commented, after two rounds of John Jacob. "This doesn't make much sense. Let's change it."

"To what?" Lt. Morris wanted to know.

"John Jacob George Jonas Jack! His name is my name too. When ever we 'gate out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob George Jonas Jack!" sang Captain Dannells, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

McDouglas groaned. It was going to be a long 4 hours, 27 minutes and 15 seconds!

A/N: This was created on a night of very little sleep and very much SGA and SG1.


	12. Teal'c Had A Little Snake

Teal'c Had a Little Snake - Submitted by Col. Jack O'Neill (currently in hiding)

Teal'c had a little snake,

Little snake, little snake,

Teal'c had a little snake,

Who lived in his belly!

And every pain that Teal'c got,

Teal'c got, Teal'c got,

Every pain that Teal'c got,

That snake was sure to heal.

It went with him to Chulak one day,

Chulak one day, Chulak one day.

It went with him to Chulak one day

To rescue Teal'c's son.

When SG-1 rescued Teal'c's son,

Teal'c's son, Teal'c's son,

When SG-1 rescued Teal'c's son,

Teal'c nearly died.

For you see Teal'c gave him his snake,

Gave him his snake, gave him his snake,

For you see Teal'c gave him his snake,

Teal'c saved his son.

Rya'c's got a little snake,

Little snake, little snake,

Rya'c's got a little snake,

It really saved his life!


	13. Oh Talking Trees

In honor of Christmas, for the next five days there will be daily Christmas Carols!

Oh, Talking Trees – submitted by Col. Jack "A Family of What" O'Neill

Oh talking trees, Oh talking trees,

Oh Nox how we love Thee.

Oh talking trees, Oh talking trees,

Oh Nox how we love Thee.

Yes, we are young, and don't always do

As we are often told.

Oh talking trees, Oh talking trees,

Oh Nox how we love Thee.

Oh talking trees, Oh talking trees,

Oh Nox how we love Thee.

Oh talking trees, Oh talking trees,

Oh Nox how we love Thee.

L'ya you've come to our rescue

And to you all praise is due,

Oh talking trees, Oh talking trees,

Oh Nox how we love Thee.


	14. Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go!

Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go – Major Sam Carter

Oh the galaxy out there is frightful,

But the SGC is delightful,

And since we've got planets to save,

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

The fight doesn't show signs of stopping

But the Colonel's got some C4 for popping,

Soon it's going to blow!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

When we finally do get back,

How we hate to go home,

But if you'd give us time to research,

All the way to the lab we will go!

Our down time is quickly flying,

And Jack, his fly knot is tying,

But as long as he's fishing with me,

Let's go, let's go, let's go!


	15. Deck the SGC Walls

Deck the (SGC) Walls – Dr. Daniel Jackson with the help of Col. Jack "Coat of paint…a little touch up" O'Neill

Deck the walls with lots of burn marks

Fa la la la la, la la la la

'Tis the season for a Gould hunt

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Don we now our BDUs

Fa la la la la, la la la la

While O'Neill gives our mission

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

See the glowing eyes before us

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Strike a fight and join the sarcasm

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Run we now through halls and tunnels

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Protect the stargate from the Jaffa

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

A/N: Wrote this yesterday, but due to internet issues didn't get it up in time. Today's will be up soon.


	16. The Twelve Days of Quarantine –Dr Janet

The Twelve Days of Quarantine – Dr. Janet Frasier

On the first day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

A bed in iso room 2.

On the second day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the third day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the fourth day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the fifth day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the sixth day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Six long scoldings

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the seventh day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Seven sarcastic quips

Six long scoldings

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the eighth day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Eight cups of Jello

Seven sarcastic quips

Six long scoldings

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the ninth day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Nine decaf coffees

Eight cups of Jello

Seven sarcastic quips

Six long scoldings

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the tenth day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Ten longsuffering sighs

Nine decaf coffees

Eight cups of Jello

Seven sarcastic quips

Six long scoldings

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the eleventh day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Eleven "I've lost my patience with you" stares

Ten longsuffering sighs

Nine decaf coffees

Eight cups of Jello

Seven sarcastic quips

Six long scoldings

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

On the twelfth day of quarantine my doctor gave to me:

Twelve discharges

Eleven "I've lost my patience with you" stares

Ten longsuffering sighs

Nine decaf coffees

Eight cups of Jello

Seven sarcastic quips

Six long scoldings

Five honkin' shots

Four chest x-rays

Three exams by penlight

Two MRIs

And a bed in iso room 2.

Janet says if you've dealt with any of SG1 in quarantine you'd understand.


	17. Twelve Days of Quarantine –Col O'Neill

The Twelve Days of Quarantine – Col. Jack O'Neill

On the first day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

My favorite bouncy ball.

On the second day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the third day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the fourth day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the fifth day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the sixth day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Six escape attempts

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the seventh day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Seven doohickeys

Six escape attempts

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the eighth day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Eight stolen Big Macs

Seven random doohickeys

Six escape attempts

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the ninth day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Nine snuck in coffees

Eight stolen Big Macs

Seven random doohickeys

Six escape attempts

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the tenth day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Ten doodling pens

Nine snuck in coffees

Eight stolen Big Macs

Seven random doohickeys

Six escape attempts

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the eleventh day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Eleven hidden laptops

Ten doodling pens

Nine snuck in coffees

Eight stolen Big Macs

Seven random doohickeys

Six escape attempts

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

On the twelfth day of quarantine my doctor took from me:

Twelve revenge plans

Eleven hidden laptops

Ten doodling pens

Nine snuck in coffees

Eight stolen Big Macs

Seven random doohickeys

Six escape attempts

Five paper airplanes

Four game boys

Three tongue depressors

Two blood samples

And my favorite bouncy ball.

A/N: Thanks for being kind about yesterday. Here's a bonus!


	18. Go Tell It on Chulak!

Go Tell it On Chulak – Teal'c Go tell it on Chulak,  
Over Dakara and Haktyl,  
Go tell it on Chulak,  
Our Jaffa nation is free.

When I was first prime  
Apophis I betrayed,  
I asked O'Neill to help me,  
And he showed me the way.

Go tell it on Chulak,  
Over Dakara and Haktyl,  
Go tell it on Chulak,  
Our Jaffa nation is free. O'Neill taught me freedom  
As we fought the war  
And I vowed to free you,  
From our tyranny. Go tell it on Chulak,  
Over Dakara and Haktyl,  
Go tell it on Chulak,  
Our Jaffa nation is free. Today we've one the battle  
Today we beat them  
I've won our freedom  
We've earned our liberty. Go tell it on Chulak,  
Over Dakara and Haktyl,  
Go tell it on Chulak,  
Our Jaffa nation is free.


	19. Here We Come ACaroling!

Can't you just imagine caroling through the stargate? If so, here's our Christmas Special

Here We Come A-Caroling! – Sang by all of SG1.

Oh, here we come a-caroling we come from Earth so far;  
Here we come a-wand'ring we couldn't bring the car.  
Love and joy come to you.  
And to you glad Christmas too.  
And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year.  
And God send you a Happy New Year.

We are not the usual strangers who mistreat you.  
But we SG1 and what we say is true.  
Love and joy come to you.  
And to you glad Christmas too.  
And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year.  
And God send you a Happy New Year.

We hope you enjoyed our sing along, but Daniel is off-key,  
And Jack's forgotten all the words, or maybe it's just me:  
Love and joy come to you.  
And to you glad Christmas too.  
And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year.  
And God send you a Happy New Year.


	20. Gate Me Out To The Ball Game!

Gate Me Out To The Ball Game

Alpha Site

Tau'ri, Tok'ra, and Jaffa

A/N: Ok, this is sort of a "what-if" scenario from loosely based on the season 6 episode "Allegiance", before the killing starts. What if Jack thought the Tok'ra, Jaffa and Tau'ri needed some bonding exercises and organized an inter-planet baseball tournament? I could see Jacob agreeing to it, Teal'c might be inclined to try Earth sports, and with the leaders participating, the underlings would have to join in…anyways…

Gate me out to the ball game.  
Gate me out to the park.  
Coaches are Jacob and Colonel Jack.  
I don't care if he's got a bad back,  
'Cause it's root, root, root

For the Earth team.  
If they don't win it's a shame.  
For its one, two, three strikes,  
You're out!  
At the inner planet games.

And, because I can't help myself…

"Gate me out to the ball game.  
Gate me out to the park."

SG teams one through three stood at the edge of the ramp, the 'gate already dialed and waiting. Col. Jack O'Neill was trying to refrain from bouncing around the gate room but it was hard. General Hammond had finally relented and given his permission for an inter-planet baseball tournament!

"SG 1, 2, and 3 you have a go. Play ball!" came the order from above.

"Coaches are Jacob and Colonel Jack.  
I don't care if he's got a bad back."

Jacob Carter had been drilling the Tok'ra on the finer points of the game for the past few days. The rules had been simple enough and the symbiotes really helped the Tok'ra with their accuracy in hitting and running, but unfortunately it also applied to throwing.

"No, no, no Malek, strike me out! Don't throw it so I can hit it," he sighed.

Meanwhile Jack had his own struggles. His back was still sore from attempting to stop one of the marines from SG3 from sliding into second during a practice game. He had caught the ball from the outfielder and thought he could step backwards onto the base. Instead he tripped and fell onto Major Peterson. Now he was trying to hide his injury from one Doctor Fraiser who might threaten to pull him out of the game.

"'Cause it's root, root, root

For the Earth team.  
If they don't win it's a shame." 

"You know, we should be winning, it's our game after all," Jack rallied his team during the bottom of the fourth, "but right now, we're playing like a bunch of sissies. Now go out there and kick some Tok'ra buts! This is the one time you'll get the chance to show those ego maniacs what we really think of them."

Fortunately for Coach O'Neill, Colonel Reynolds had a mean curveball, one that seemed to fluster the current Tok'ra batter.

"For its one, two, three strikes,  
You're out!"

Anise couldn't believe it. She was vastly superior to these humans, but this dumb game had her confused. Who cared if she could hit a ball far afield? Give her a scientific puzzle she could solve it faster and better than Major Carter, she was sure. But the game was important to Col. O'Neill and she really wanted to impress him.

"STRIKE TWO!" Walter Harriman shouted; he was thrilled to be the off-world umpire.

Anise blinked. "No fair," she thought, "it came while I wasn't paying attention!"

She adjusted her hands on the bat, blew a big bubble with her gum, saw the ball coming, swung and missed. Spectacularly.

"YOU'RE OUT!"

She pouted. Stupid curve ball.

"At the inner planet games."

It was a tight game, 8-9…in Earth's favor. The Tok'ra blamed the umpire, Earth was thankful for Reynolds' curve ball, and the Jaffa were ultimately banned from the game after Rak'nor put knocked Ferretti into a coma with a high fast ball.


	21. RockaBye Larva

Rock-a-bye Larva – Bastet

Rock-a-bye larva, in the Jaffa's pouch,  
When the war starts, the Jaffa will fight,  
When the weapons fire, the Jaffa will die,  
And down will die larva, Jaffa and all!

Or

Rock-a-bye larva, swimming in the jar,  
When you meet dad, the jar will open,  
When you're picked up, don't fight very hard,  
And then you'll be eaten, tasty though small!

A/N: Well, we all know how much the Goa'uld love their little squirmies! Here's the perfect lullaby for all your larval needs. *shiver*


	22. Urgo Is A Hologram

Ugro Is A Hologram – SG1 and Urgo

SG1:

Urgo is a hologram from our imagination  
And when he's here,

He's what we fear,

A major irritation!

Urgo can be big or tall  
He goes to lots of places  
After they find they out  
He's met with many unhappy faces

Urgo shows us lots of things  
Like how to drink coffee  
Eat a cake, and piece of pie  
And how to talk crazy!

Urgo wants to play with us  
When we want to destroy him,  
Urgo can be your friend too  
But you can't shut him up!

Urgo:

I love you,  
You hate me,

We're best friends like teams should be.  
With a piece of pie and jello that is blue,

Won't you say you love me too?

A/N: For those of you in America, you should recognize these from the Barney the Dinosaur TV Show. Personally, I think Barney and Urgo have a lot in common. The opening theme song uses the same tune as Yankee Doodle, for those of you not familiar with the program. (No clue about the closing one though). Hope you enjoy!


End file.
